In this fascinating episode, Tom Henschel’s, Executive Coach and Podcast Host at Essential Communications, shares how he uses his decades long career as a Hollywood actor to help leaders develop their look and sound of leadership.
We dive into the true sign of authenticity in leadership, how COVID has shaped the current leadership challenge, and how to create deep trust in a remote work environment
Episode Transcript
Scott Ritzheimer
Hello, hello and welcome. Welcome once again to the secrets of the high demand coach and I am here with yet another high demand coach, one that I think you’re going to find fascinating and that is the one and only Mr. Tom Henschel. For more than 30 years Tom Henschel has helped hundreds of senior leaders achieve the look and sound of leadership, fascinating. His expertise, his expertise, sorry, as a communications coach has taken him to executive offices at companies such as Amazon, Citigroup, Toyota Warner Brothers, and just about everyone else, by the way. In addition to coaching executives, Tom also facilitates team events. And he delivers interactive trainings in the areas of presentation skills, effective communications, and influence skills at companies such as Disney, Nissan, and talk about and again, many others. And if I’ve ever been more self conscious in an intro before now, I don’t think it’s possible. But Tom see here, he’s here to talk to us about the look and sound of leadership. Now, before we get in there, because I know it’s just gonna be a fascinating conversation. I’d love to rewind the tape a little bit and just hear what was your story? What were you doing before you were doing? The look and sound of leadership and essential communications? And why did you decide to just start the new business?
Tom Henschel
Okay, well, here we go. So this is my second career. Yes, I’ve been doing this for 30 years. But before that, I was a professional actor. I was trained at the Juilliard School when Juilliard hadn’t even turned out actors yet. And then I worked on theater and television, here in Southern California for literally decades, like 25 years. So I made a living, I did that. But what I could see Scott was that it was not going to sustain me. I mean, like, I wasn’t going to be 60 years old and still acting and taking care of my family. It’s like, the question was, what was I going to do instead? And I thought I was going to teach, and I tried teaching for low Island really hated. And because I’d never had a straight job, I didn’t know there was a thing called corporate training. So when I found out about corporate training, I went and I was a presentation skills trainer, right? I mean, perfect segue for me as an actor, as a director or whatever. And almost immediately, I got asked to work one on one with senior leaders. It wasn’t even called coaching in those days. He was like, would you work one on one with our division president and make him more presidential? And I was like, yeah, that sounded like an acting exercise to me. Yeah. So I, that was the beginning of coaching. Then I actually worked with a woman who trained me and I have been coaching ever since on this thing called the look and sound of leadership.
Scott Ritzheimer
Fantastic, fantastic. So I’d love to dive into a little bit about what you do. So if you could, what would you say is the most important work that you’re doing with your clients right now?
Tom Henschel
The most important work, I think, is often helping them get the goals that the organization wants for them. So the bulk of my clients, our corporate clients, because of my podcast, the look and sound of leadership, a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of business owners, a lot of people with smaller companies also reach out to me, but the bulk of my clients are in big organizations. So that’s my framework. And usually there’s a, some goals, some something where, you know, they want you to be high performing, they want to give you that, that promotion to the senior vice president, but oh, we need something. We need your people to be happier. We need you to be better in front of the board of directors, whatever it is. That’s the important work that I come in and do. So I help people get their promotions, I help people get their next best thing.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, that’s fantastic. So I’m dying to know, what does leadership look and sound like, right? Because you you look at definitions for leadership. And, you know, leadership is influence or Drucker is leaders. You know, if you want to know who’s the leader, look for someone who has followers, you know, our personal definition. You know, leadership is any act that helps two or more achieve their shared goals. None of those have anything to do with what leadership looks or sounds like. So I’m dying to know what is the look and sound of leadership?
Tom Henschel
Well, it depends. So here, I’ll give you an example. This is a real thing that happened to me was I was coaching one day at a division of Warner Brothers that is really they were like, renegades, they had pinball machines by the elevators. And I mean, they were kind of crazy. And they were a lot of fun. I went from coaching one of their leaders, to this Capital Management Group, downtown Los Angeles up in a high rise, they still wore ties in those days. Like they were so buttoned up, they had carpet where you couldn’t hear anybody talk or walk. You can imagine that leadership looked really different in those two places, and they do look different. So partly, what I want to say is if you’re thinking about being a leader, the question is, like whom like, I mean, if you’re the if you’re the Business Owner, you’re going to model leadership and people are going to start doing what you do. Right? But if you’re in an organization and you look up the ladder, what is leadership look like? Because that’s probably what leadership is gonna look like, for your promotion. So I’m not sure if I actually answered your question, because it that’s kind of a theory. I’m not sure if I answered,
Scott Ritzheimer
So let me ask it another way, what does leadership not look like?
Tom Henschel
Oh, it doesn’t look like hesitancy. It doesn’t look like chaos. It doesn’t look like confusion. And it doesn’t look like avoidance. So one of the things that leaders struggle with, and I know they struggle with this, because they talk to me about it all the time is having hard conversations, who likes having hard conversations, right? I mean, it’s hard. That’s why they’re hard. And leaders who are really good, they do it, they know how to adjust, and then they’re not walking in, and like cutting people’s heads off. They’re not walking in with like a baseball bat and whacking people. But they know how to have difficult conversations. They’ve read all those books, and they’ve really taken it to heart. So that’s one thing that leadership doesn’t look like, it doesn’t look like avoidance, it does look like having teeth holding people accountable. That’s hard.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah. Wow. So next question here is coming from the world of acting, where you’re inherently, you know, portraying someone else right to moving to the world of corporate where hopefully, we’re portraying ourselves how do you help folks to kind of navigate the that line of authenticity and putting yourself in your best light?
Tom Henschel
Oh, I love that question, Scott. So I have this question all the time with my clients, where all say, look, let’s talk about your behavior in meetings. And this part, I think, if you could change this part, I think you’d really get different results. And they say, but that wouldn’t be authentic. And I go, Well, wait a minute. It if it’s intentional, isn’t it authentic? But it’s not the real me. And I go, Yeah, but the real you is like a hot mess. The real you is like not getting your promotion, the real you is like getting tough feedback from your colleagues and your peers. Like, why is that? Good? Why do you want to stick with that just because it’s good, authentic. I talk about something called acting on the corporate stage. Scott, I gotta tell you, when I started working in companies and going to people’s offices, I was appalled. There was a lot of bad behavior. And again, this is a long time ago, behavior that would not be allowed anymore. But there was a lot of Amin, bad language, raised voices, people throwing things at each other, like, Oh, my God, and I was like, Don’t you know that, like people see what you do? I mean, really, you are being watched. And if you’re a leader, you are like a celebrity. Everybody’s watching you. So what about the corporate stage, and everybody around you is the quote unquote, audience. I think being intentional about getting the result you want, isn’t inauthentic, it may mean that you need to stretch and change and develop, and I’m guessing you help your people help them grow and change and develop. That doesn’t mean it’s inauthentic. am I addressing the thought you had?
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, no, it’s right on. And because I don’t approach the in any way, the same way, shape or form. But one of the things that happens, we use different leadership styles, right. And each of the styles has a gifting and what happens, kind of as that leadership style becomes more and more prominent, the other leadership styles kind of go down, right? So you have someone who’s let’s say, they’re a visionary leader, they’re all in visionary. I’m flying my visionary freak flag, you know, it’s 100 miles an hour in every direction, all at the same time. And it’s a big challenge for them, especially when it’s so pronounced. Because to move into any of those other styles for a budget meeting, for example, right? It actually feels inauthentic. Right. And so one of the big things I’m trying to help folks do is to say, Hey, you’re not a visionary leader, you have a visionary style. And I hear a lot of what you’re saying the same thing as you aren’t that thing, right? You have you aren’t your communications, right? You aren’t your communication style, you have a communication style.
Tom Henschel
And you can choose, right, you can choose to interrupt people, you could choose to use foul language you could choose, right, and in the same way that you’re talking about this idea of It’s my style. I can turn the volume up or turn the volume down.
Scott Ritzheimer
Fascinating. Yeah, I love it. All right. So there’s a another. And I always forget the source on this. But there’s a saying it says that the culture of the kingdom emanates from the character of the king. culture of the kingdom emanates from the character of the king. So as you’re helping leaders kind of You have their own look and feel, how do you see that translating into the cultures of their organizations?
Tom Henschel
Well, sometimes it’s just the organization, the culture of their team or whatever, right? Because I don’t coach every CEO in the world, of course, but but I think it does happen. I think it happens. I’ll give you a really good example, woman that I’ve been coaching for a long time, moved to a new team, her new team had learned because of their periods leader, to not ask questions. That was their thing. Don’t ask questions, because it makes you look stupid, and he’s going to bite your head off. Her whole thing was, wait, if you don’t ask me questions, I don’t know what you’re thinking, like, why you guys are quiet, like what? Come on, she had to actually kind of model it, prove that it was safe. So she was trying to actually change culture in her team. By being intentional with her behavior. I think we do this in our families of origin. I think we do this with our children. I think we do this with our partners. You know, I think we do this all the time of what we model ends up coming back to us, right, I think the challenge for leaders is they’re all busy. And so often that second track of like, what am I doing right now? What is my word choice? What’s my tone of voice? How am I doing with my, I don’t know, whatever eye contact, asking open ended questions whether the list goes on, right? Yeah. They don’t have time, because they’re busy. And again, the people that I’m coaching, you know, like, 300 emails a day, and their calendars look like, Oh, my Lord, it just looks painful. So and then I’m gonna say to them, Well, don’t forget to ask open ended questions. It’s like, you know, that’s hard. So I think, when you can expand it to what you’re talking about this idea of, if I could remember to ask an open ended question, it will change the people around me. It’s not just about me, I think sometimes that can help people get tapped into kind of a bigger purpose. And I think sometimes it can be helpful.
Scott Ritzheimer
It’s fantastic. So we’re a couple of years now into the new normal, if you will, COVID had just a dramatic impact on how we communicate in the workplace, not the least of which was, you know, working from home, right. So what are some of the biggest ways you’ve seen leaders have to adapt their communication style techniques, the amount of time and energy they spend on it? How has communication changed in the workplace?
Tom Henschel
Oh, my Lord, how much time… Scott this is so intense? Listen, one of the things that I’m aware of is it is not the same for everybody. Yeah. But one of the things that has gone away that I think I think people like working from home, but one of the things that has gone away, and people acknowledge it is the hallway moment, the watercooler moment, the walk into the men’s room moment where, you know, I see you and I go, Oh, hey, Scott, that meeting yesterday and we and something happens, our trust deepens with each other, whatever it is, we suddenly think of something we should bring Melanie, in on that right? Work is happening while I’m going to the men’s room. That does not happen anymore when I’m working at home, because if I don’t make an appointment to talk to you, I’m not going to talk to you. And I think that’s one of the things that leaders have really had a challenge with is keeping people connected, making sure that trust is being deepened, making sure that people are talking to each other about maybe even stuff that isn’t even work related. It’s really, really challenging. Oh my Lord. Oh, it’s it. It’s really hard. And sad.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yes. So again, I think you nailed it, because the results are kind of there and output, you know, depending on who you ask, I’ll put up or down and but I think this issue of trust, right, especially for a leader and their team is a big one who maybe not even who but the folks that are doing it well, right that you’re coaching with what are the you know, what are one or two things that you see that they’ve implemented that have helped them succeed in developing and garnering and building trust in a remote workplace?
Tom Henschel
Well, I’ll just give you three quickies. Number one is I think they’ve really challenged their teams to get good on Zoom. There is one team that I work with. It’s like being in the room with them. They overtalk each other they talk simultaneously, they pop each other in and out not each other, they pop themselves in and out of mute. They’re really good. And so their time together is dynamic. So that’s one thing as leaders who really say let’s use this tool, and make it as close to interactive as we can. That’s number one. Number two is I think they promote dialogue. So they will say, Scott, I really need you to go talk to Myrna and do that and let me know what that conversation is like. So I’m forcing you to get on miRNAs calendar and right but they’re promoting it That’s number two. And number three is I think they’re being creative about how they lead their meetings. They’re not just doing, you know, kind of a 15 minute huddle, because I don’t think that works in the same way anymore. But they’re trying to get people talking to each other and listening to each other. They’re trying to get people to share in different ways. They’re using different tools for meeting manager.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah, that’s yeah, they’re all great points. So I’m going to shift gears just slightly, but it’s kind of in the same vein, and that is, what do you see, again, using kind of COVID as as kind of a juxtaposition, if you will, or a point in time that change things? What do you see are some of the biggest mistakes that folks are making?
Tom Henschel
Wow, well. So I’m coaching. A president of international bank, who basically has told his people, if you’re not back in the office, you’re not getting promoted, because I can’t see you. And I just want to say, Oh, I don’t think his people are gonna like that. I don’t think it’s good for his company. I don’t think it’s good. It’s the failure of perspective taking. IE, he can be in the office for his own reasons, but he’s really lost perspective. And he’s not an uncaring man. But he wants to drive the business a certain way. And he has urgency, and he has a board of directors pushing him and I get it. But that’s the biggest thing that I’ve seen. And by the way, these are not all mistakes. But Scott, I want to say, I don’t know what you’re saying. But man, everybody is doing the quote unquote, come back to work, the return to work. It’s nobody has it locked up and solved. Everybody’s doing it differently. And we’ll find out in a year, what works, right. Yeah. But so that’s one of the mistakes that I see is this idea of like, not because I’m the boss, I can mandate to you. And you’ll have to do what I say or quit like, I don’t care. So not a great solution.
Scott Ritzheimer
Oh, my goodness. Yeah, I, I wish I had an answer. And I’m in the same boat as you is like, I’ve seen it done 100 different ways. It’s one of those things where it’s like, only time will tell, you know, anyone who says that they’ve got it figured out, they do not have it figured out right now. It’s one of those. I’m trying to remember what it was. But it was about 200 years after the start of the French Revolution, so relatively recently, and he’s a historian, and then they asked him, What would you say, really, now that were 200 years in the full impact of the French Revolution? He said, it’s still too early to tell. And so, you know, I think, you know, with a lot of this stuff of you know, how COVID has reset things. You know, we’re trying so desperately to get back to not clarity, but but like a knowing like a concrete like we have it figured out right, a certainty. And you know, it’s just too early to tell.
Tom Henschel
I am with you.
Scott Ritzheimer
Yeah fascinating. All right. So here’s, here’s the moment I’ve been waiting for. It’s my favorite part of the show. And that’s where we dive into this question. And that is, what is the biggest secret that you wish wasn’t a secret at all? What’s that one thing that you wish every leader listening today knew?
Tom Henschel
It’s going to echo your thing about leadership style. This is something I find myself saying in almost every coaching engagement that I have, at some point, I say, if you want to be an effective leader, you have to do two things every day, you have to manage your tasks, all that accountability stuff, and you need to build and maintain positive relationships, right processes and people. Now, I don’t think this is mind blowing yet. But I want to add one more. I think all of us were born a certain way. We I mean, just for myself, as an example, I was way high with people and really stuck with process. And as an actor, by the way, I didn’t need process other people to care process, right? They told me when to show up at the theater or when to be on set. All that was taken care of me. Right. So as a leader, I think it’s important that you know which way you’re dialed. It’s your style, your preference. And then I don’t think you need to work on the side, you’re already good at, I think, trying to beef up the other side, it won’t decrease. It’s not like upscales, it’s not like that strong side is going to come down. You’re going to add in complementary skills. And if that’s what leaders were working on, they could make a difference. Yeah, it’s my secret.
Scott Ritzheimer
And it’s fascinating, because it’s a huge debate, right? You’ve got the whole camp that says, You got to work on your strengths. You got to work on your strengths. But I think the flip side of that, and probably where you’re leaning is kind of the wheel idea, right? If you have a wheel of your strengths, right, and one of them’s way up here, and one of them’s down here, like that is a bumpy ride. Yeah. And, and so yeah, I think there’s, you know, ultimately I think there’s something to be said for both but I think you’re right, the whole idea of like, Oh, it’s just your strengths go to your strengths, I found that there are very few bits of advice that put people in a box more than that.
Tom Henschel
Oh, that’s an interesting idea. And I come at it a slightly different way. By the way, I love strengths. And I do strengths finders with people and all that. But my point is, I want you to know your strengths. I want you to be confident in your strengths. Yeah, I don’t necessarily want you to turn up the volume on your strength, because then often they become over you. Right? Like me, as a person who loves talking to people, if I just ramped that up, at some point, people are just gonna going shut him up, right, like, make him stop talking. It’s gonna become an overuse. I don’t need more of that.
Scott Ritzheimer
It’s so good. It’s so good. All right. So now I’ve worked with enough coaches, to know that we have a habit of giving our very best energy to our clients, you know, putting it all out there, do the diving, catch the Herculean effort, and then we find ourselves at the end of the day with nothing left over. So you know, one of the things that can happen is, we sometimes lose sight of of what we need to work on for ourselves in our own business. So I’m going to have you take off your coach, consultant advisor hat for a moment, and have you put on your CEO hat and jump into the ring with the rest of us. And talk to us a little bit about what you’re doing to grow both as a leader and a communicator, and also to grow your business.
Tom Henschel
Well, let me start with the second one first. So it’s, I love the setup, because I’m going to go in a little bit of a different direction, in 2022, this past year, not completely through my own choosing, I only worked 10 months out of the year. And I made more money than 2021. And I looked at that and went well, that’s a good model, isn’t it? So my goal for my coming year is to work 10 months of the year, intentionally and make more money than 2022. So I’m I don’t mind making the diving catch. I don’t mind giving my all to my clients. But I’m taking two months.
Scott Ritzheimer
I love it. I love it. And so what would you say? What do you think the challenge is to make that happen? You kind of fell into this year, right? But you’ve got to make it happen intentionally. So moving from that intuitive it happened to the intentional, do you think the challenges in making that work?
Tom Henschel
Well, I am finding all kinds of ways to network which again, by the way, networking has completely changed during COVID, hasn’t it? Right. But I have a pretty high presence online. And so I’m I’m really working on that. And even by the way, when I’m traveling, I can still be online, right? So yeah, I’m putting a lot of things in place that are gonna help me with that. I love it.
Scott Ritzheimer
I love it. Fantastic. Now, before we go, I’m gonna ask you in just a second, how folks can get in touch with you. But I know that you’ve got a podcast of your own. It’s The Look & Sound of Leadership Podcast. Is that right? Tell us a little bit about it and where we can find it.
Tom Henschel
So The Look & Sound of Leadership is available anywhere you can find find podcasts. I’ve been doing it for 15 years, it is like yours, it’s about 20 minutes. And it is the first 10 minutes or like you’re listening to me coach someone. It’s all in dialogue. And it’s a story like you’re a fly on the wall. And then I just unpack it for the last 10 minutes. And there’s always a tool, there’s always something you can use. And yeah, it’s been fantastic. It’s changed my life. It’s been so great. I love doing it.
Scott Ritzheimer
I love it. I love it. So The Look & Sound of Leadershi Podcast, check it out. I know you’re gonna love it. I had, I did have a chance to check out a couple of episodes. And they were all wonderful. I mean, just really, really fun and enjoyable and super informative as well. So I know some some folks are sitting there listening and they’re like, you know, I’ve never thought of this before but Tom’s on to something here. And I’ve got to know more. So for those folks who want to improve the look and kind of their leadership, how can they find out more about you and your work?
Tom Henschel
So I run a company called Essential Communications. Our website is essentialcomm.com. We’ve got lots of free resources stuff, you can download half of yourself, you don’t have to pay anything, just take it. So you can do that. And you can reach out to me if you want to talk about coaching or the lookups on leadership or any of that stuff like go on, I’ll be glad to hear from you.
Scott Ritzheimer
Fantastic. So, essentialcomm.com. We’ll put that in the show notes. Everyone can go straight to it. And Tom is just an absolute pleasure having you on the show. Thank you so much. And for everyone listening your time and attention means the world to us. We’re so honored to be here with you. I hope you got as much out of this conversation as I did and I cannot wait to see you next time. Take care.
Contact Tom Henschel
For more than thirty years, Tom Henschel has helped hundreds of senior leaders achieve The Look & Sound of Leadership.
His expertise as a communications coach has taken him into executive offices at companies such as Amazon, CitiGroup, CoreLogic, Dole, HP, KONE, Netflix, Toyota, and Warner Bros.
In addition to coaching executives, Tom facilitates team events and delivers interactive trainings in the areas of presentation skills, effective communications, and influence skills at companies such as Disney, Nissan, Taco Bell, Transamerica and Symantec.
Want to learn more about Tom Henschel’s work at Essential Communications? Check out his website at https://essentialcomm.com and his podcast at https://essentialcomm.com/podcast or on your favorite podcast platform.
Podcast Booking Status: Open
We are looking for podcast guests, and we want to share your story.
Are you a coach, consultant, or advisor for entrepreneurial organizations? If so, let’s do a great show together – and we can promote you to our audience on all our social media channels, website, and email list.
Guest requirements:
- As a coach, you should be experiencing some very good momentum AND be grossing $100K or more annually. We’ll be talking about how you help your clients achieve extraordinary results.
- Consider yourself as equally people and results-oriented in your mission.
- High-authority expert management and independent coaches who work with founder-led entrepreneurial organizations of 40 or more employees. We also encourage guests that are operations/strategy and culture consultants, advisors, and leadership coaches to be guests (no specialties in marketing, branding, sales, or IT, please
- Please, no new coaches (under 3 years), published authors, non-independent coaches, or non-business coaches/consultants.